Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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