True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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