she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize