my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
