youre lurking in front of me
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
