Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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