Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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