Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
