Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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