Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
