I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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