he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
