Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
