Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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