I puked a lego.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
