I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
