haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
