shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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