ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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