literally had 100 drinks last night.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
