we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
