I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
