I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
