When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
