forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
