the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
