My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
