More tranny stories later!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
i think i just lost a toe
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
