you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Princesses don't give blow jobs
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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