Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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