a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
