it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
