Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
