so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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