your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
