I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
