I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
