They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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