I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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