ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
