I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
