The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
