My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
