just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
