yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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