Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
