yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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