They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
