The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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