Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
