whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
