he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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