i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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