i think i have herpe
just one?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
