i wish my penis had a tongue
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
